Olive Oil Steals the Show at the Scissors Spring Soirée


Somewhere in this house there are seven pairs of scissors. I wouldn’t have believed it had I not witnessed with my own eyes shortly after I moved here.

In a drawer, the only drawer my 1910 library desk has, a drawer that is an archeological dig from the early part of this century, and a drawer I never look in because I don’t want to dig through all that crap, there they were, seven pairs of scissors.  I am sure they were as surprised as I was. I have never seen that many scissors together under any of my roofs. I don’t own that many scissors.

I have always suspected they throw lavish parties and invite all of my favorite pens and that entire package of gold foil address labels I planned to use for my howliday cards, (actually it’s the cards the Bassets send to each other).

In some parallel universe the Pam that I am there might be stumbling on their little soiree even as we speak, because not one of them is here today and I think they took the brand new olive oil I just bought with them. The bastards.

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4 Responses to Olive Oil Steals the Show at the Scissors Spring Soirée

  1. Am I to believe that you have misplaced seven pairs of scissors and a brand new bottle of olive oil? Hahahaha! Welcome to my world!! I lost a set of President Heads once. 😉

  2. pamtanzey says:

    Hahahaha yep, you crack me up! Your world and my world. The scissors are sheepishly coming around again. I found two pair last night. What the heck is a set of Presidents heads and how did you lose them? Are they attached to something? Do you drink out of them?

  3. President Heads are a set of cards that fan out. I bought a brand new set to use when I was schooling our son. We had it out once, and it ran off somewhere, never to be seen again.

    The house has swallowed up a story my grandmother wrote, a box of pictures, jewelry, even dishes. I have no idea where this stuff runs off to. Oh! Most recently, my social security card ran off. I didn’t lose it. I put it somewhere, but I don’t remember where, and I can’t find it.

  4. pamtanzey says:

    Ohhh maybe they all ran off up that stairway to nowhere!

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