Olivia

oliva

When Olivia died

The clouds arranged themselves across the crown of the sky like Rosary beads

We spent the afternoon together knowing it was time for her to go

I sang only song I could remember Happy Trails

When Olivia died

I had to race across town during five o’clock traffic

To get $260.00 cash out of the ATM

To pay the man who was coming to take her body away

Her little body that was lying on the ground already cold

When Olivia died

I threw up for three days and couldn’t bear to look out the bedroom window

Out to where she lived for four years where I watched her constantly

To make sure she was warm enough and cool enough and the fireworks weren’t scaring her

Where I pressed my hurting heart against her side while she ate and it made us both less lonely

When Olivia died

Dr. Anita put a yellow flower behind her ear so she would feel pretty on her trip

To beyond the beyond

And she left it on the ground for me to find on Monday because she wanted me to have it

When Olivia died

She flashed an image of a filly with blue eyes that I had just met a week ago

Go bring her home she said

She’s beautiful but her family tells me in front of her that she is a disappointment

She is distraught she cribs and throws tantrums

And needs someone to give her some time and a lot of food and shoes that fit,

And then I would stop crying and we would both be less lonely

And after twenty-six years of being here Olivia could get a little rest

And come back when she is ready.

-Pam Tanzey

Writing 101 Day Four: Serially Lost

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10 Responses to Olivia

  1. That was beautiful and I am sorry about your friend.

  2. pamtanzey says:

    Thank you Debbie.

  3. Enables says:

    Sad and beautifully put into words!

  4. This is so sweet and heart touching. I’m sorry about Olivia. You have written a beautiful tribute to her, in case this is true. I love this.

  5. pamtanzey says:

    Thank you so much. I appreciate your kind words. It’s true.

  6. tolive4u says:

    It’s interesting how in the midst of our sadness a glimmer or two of hope shine through.

  7. Oh my gosh. I have to quit reading your blog, Pam. (Just kidding.) But once again, you move me to tears, and I’m kind of sitting here blubbering now. This … “Where I pressed my hurting heart against her side while she ate and it made us both less lonely”

    Beautiful tribute – beautifully written.

  8. pamtanzey says:

    Thank you so much Maddie.

  9. pamtanzey says:

    Thank you Maddie. She was a sweet girl.

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